There is something we rarely talk about in the right light.

In-betweenness.

It’s usually framed as an issue — a marginalized identity, or an identity crisis, confusion, loyalty conflict, or developmental challenge specific to growing up cross-culturally -- like it's some special challenge for 'the traveled'. 

It's certainly not for the traveled. It's something every human goes through. We can argue that our first in-betweenness is between our maternal culture and paternal culture, right? 

It's time to flip this story. What if it's far from a moment to be seen in the light of a crisis, rather a moment to celebrate and witness as a rite of passage into adulthood? 

Yes, adulthood. We give spiritual awakening way too much meaning because we give our power away to "the specially chosen" gurus to tell us what it is. But it's an ordinary human experience and when one experiences it, it's nothing like what people say it is. It's more of a very uncomfortable maturation process with moments of facing oneself in the mirror. 

Because in-betweenness can't be a crisis. 
It’s an expansion.

Like an accordion finding its wider range of sounds. 

It’s the widening of your inner sky.

It's the meeting of oneself as the spirit behind the physical form and the stories that came with it. 

It's the breaking of your worldview and reformation of your wholeness as invisible + visible world. 

The In-Between Lens No One Talks About

Growing up cross-culturally — through travel, migration, mixed-race families, or entering a school system of another culture — expands your worldview. Not just into each culture… but into everything between them.

That in-between space is where the quiet and nuanced truths live.

But most people don’t notice it until friction appears:

• Who am I really?

• Where do I belong?

• Why do I feel torn between identities or loyalties?

• Why do I feel uncategorizable… un-belong-able?

You fill out a survey checking the “logical” boxes — race, gender, age, education level — yet something inside whispers:

“None of these labels match what I actually am.”

You’d rather check all the boxes.
Or invent new ones.

Because your identity was never meant to fit inside pre-made categories, nor inside categories that's based on your form. 

When You Finally Speak It Out Loud

If you’re brave enough to tell a friend, partner, or therapist, you might hear:

• “Sounds like an identity crisis.”

• “I went through that in my twenties.”

• “It gets better once you settle down.”

• "Is this a mid-life crisis?"

Why do we say these things? Because 1) through centuries of colonialism, we've erased the universal cultural practice marking a person's transition to adult status with ceremonies and challenges, 2) we replaced and sliced the experience of rite of passage into two separate boxes -- a) western psychology that has to begin with a diagnosis like a labeled crisis and b) spirituality controlled and dominated by religion and religious leaders. 

Every “Crisis” in Life Isn’t a Crisis — It’s a Doorway

I know this intimately.

My first wave hit in college in the U.S. — trying to choose a career from options that felt way too narrow for the multiplicity inside me. I mean, seriously: I had just arrived as a Korean-bodied, Saudi-fed, Austria-raised, international-school kid expected to choose from an American career ladder.

I didn’t fit.
I didn’t even know what an internship was, that most classmates had already figured out and lined up. 

Then life carried on, and I forgot about it for a while.

But big decisions brought it back:
Choosing a partner.
Choosing a country.
Choosing a home to buy.

Everyone else seemed clear.
I felt split between cultures that didn’t feel like mine.

Sitting with the discomfort of the split, it led me to my truth. 

This is not confusion — it is clarity trying to be born.

It is not identity crisis — it is identity expansion and specification. 

It is the dissolving of inherited shells — what others disguised as culture, system, right way, good way, holy way taught you to wear. If it's not your way, then it's not right for you. It's someone else trying to control you - and most of the times they don't even know they're doing that. 

It is the beginning of seeing your full-self.

Your In-Betweenness Is Your Superpower

If you exist between worlds, you are not lost - far from it. Your world is expanding. Your home is expanding. 

Try to stay with that in-betweenness. Even if nobody gets you in your in-between, don't abandon the experience, see if you can be there with yourself - whole-heartedly, unconditionally, love yourself. 

Then you will experience a sense of self more rooted, grounded, connected in your truth, that you see nothing else really matters in comparison. 

This is your spiritual awakening - stay awake. Stay with it. You're here. 

It doesn't get any better than this. 

love,

San Shine